Dating: How I got into the game

I tiptoed into the dating scene in 2004 when I dropped a stupid number of not-so-subtle hints to friends and family that I wouldn't be opposed to being setup on a blind date if they knew someone who was worthy. I was 38 and honestly.....hankerin' for some lovin'. That was truly my motivation. I did go on a number of blind dates over the next few years to no avail, but did end up with a handful of great stories to tell at a dinner party. Then, in early 2006, I made my official debut as a dater. a girlfriend and I were out for sushi, lamenting about the girl in her office who had met a seemingly fabulous guy online - sending her flowers, calling regularly, attending to her every need - and she was thinking about dumping him and moving on to another. (BITCH! How DARE she!!! Who does she think she is?? She has a great guy and she doesn't want him?! I WANT HIM!!!!)

We dared each other to setup a profile - neither of us was willing to commit to taking the full leap - or at least utter the words "go online", but lets see what wonderful things we could write about ourselves. How hard could that be???? and of course....no one else needs to know. PINKY SWEAR!

I went home that night to write a stellar review of the person that I am, found 4 decent and relatively recent pictures, and bit the bullet and posted my profile online for all to see. I figured I had gone to all of that effort, why waste it? And damn, I sounded like a catch! I posted it on three different dating sites. Go big or go home, as they say. I was up till 3am posting, revising, and reviewing. I had officially become a loser...I mean online dater.

To clarify, I don't really think its a loser move, and is without question a very common, and accessible way to meet a man from the comforts of your couch. Single galpals and I often joked "why can't the perfect man come waltzing through my living room...during the commercials". But it's a BIG step and at the time - faced with the prospect of eventually having to come clean with friends and family - I felt sorta like a loser. I was finally admitting that there's no knight in shining armour in the frozen food aisle, and that I had given up on all conventional tactics to find a man. Even more exposing for the quintessential single woman that I was, loomed the BIG admission that yes, I really DO want a partner. Maybe this life would be better if there was someone willing to listen to my stories at the end of the day, while I sit across from him at a great little out-of-the-way restaurant that he found and just HAD to take me too. Just maybe.

Strangely enough, I thought it may have a domino effect with other single friends jumping on the cyber dating bandwagon - I would be the first to put myself out there (incidentally my friend who concocted this crazy idea with me didn't go online until many months later...) and others would see that it wasn't such a loser thing to do and join me. We'd all have great dating stories to tell and would all end up happily in love and hosting dinner parties for each other for years to come. It was soooooo not like that. Friends were happy to ask 1000 questions, wanting to know all the juicy details, then end the conversation with "ya....I could never do it". They looked at me with 1. respect: it's a big, risky, leap and you've got the balls to jump, and 2. pity: this is what it's come to, but I'm not ready to admit that yet - until I see how it goes for you.

But I did it....and I dated. And I eventually met the man of my dreams. But that is sooooo not what this blog is about.