I have been known to be somewhat of a story-teller. Shocking, I know. I have a LOT of bizarre stories in my repertoire that identify me as the girl you call over at the party with "LISA..get over here and tell these guys about when you went to that crazy place/met those crazy people/ did that crazy thing...."I also know that the same wacky types of things happen to everyone, but apparently I have a knack of turning these little tidbits of my life into colourful accounts of how I was slighted, challenged, embarrassed, duped, confused or humiliated, and any combination thereof. I tell my stories every chance I get and most often get a chuckle. My friends, (who've had to endure the tales umpteen times) usually have favourites. Some are G rated, but there are a few choice narratives that I can only tell close friends after a few bottles of wine. Suffice it to say I have some doozies. I even once jotted them down in a notebook so as not to forget them...but now I forget where I put the notebook.
Ability to laugh at myself? check.
Need to be the centre of attention? check.
Gift for seeing humour in even the most mundane circumstances? check, check, check!
This is how I came up with this crazy idea that interviews are like dates in the first place. The revelation came to me one day driving home from an interview for a job that I didn't want, at a company that I didn't want to work for. I had told the same stories in this interview, as I had in another for a job that I really DID want. As I reviewed the meeting, and the tales that I had told, it hit me:
Interviews are like dates. You tell the same stories over and over again until someone buys them.
Even though I didn't want the job, I still gave it my all, and told my best work related stories, to sell myself as the best candidate for it. I still wanted (and deserved!) a call back. The same holds true for dating. You want to portray yourself as a damn fine catch, full of confidence and spunk, even if you've already decided to throw him back in the water. You want full control and the ability to make the decision on YOUR terms. I wonder if there is a sociological term for this?
I have a standard list of work related stories that I draw from when appropriate. In interviews, my stories can best be itemized like this:
*The time I pulled out all the stops to have the entire order ship by Dec 31st. (It's much more involved than that, but I'll spare you the boring details. Unless of course you invite me to an interview, in which case, I'll give you the full blow by blow, complete with hand gestures and head nods). This story is reserved for "describe a time when you went above and beyond to solve an issue".
*The story about the IT implementation at my company that derailed shipments to my customers for months. Again...this is abbreviated but it's a good one when answering the "When things don't go your way", "dealing with challenges" or "dealing with angry customers" types of questions.
*The story about my customer who has users with very unique requirements and the solution I came up with for them. This is something I was working on before I was packaged* and never got to close, but I use it anyway and sometimes leave out that minor detail. This is perfect for the "describe an instance where you used your consultative selling skills to close a deal" type of questions.
I think they're good stories. First of all, they're true (well....mostly except the slight omission noted above). Secondly, they are multi-faceted and can be tweaked to get me out of a jam in most heated question periods. You may be thinking "ya, Lisa....but you still don't have a friggin job!" and yes, you may have a point...but I don't think its because my stories don't fit the bill.
My dating stories didn't necessarily make me out to be super-girlfriend, but they were animated and funny and served to ease the tension and keep conversation going. And, it's all in the way that they're told. I could present myself as funny, confident, down to earth, adventurous, and spontaneous all in one little quirky anecdote. I'll share some favourites:
*The time my friend and I were coaxed into bringing a wooden thai dragon from Portugal to Toronto to give to someone's long lost friend. Yes, we were crazy to do it, yes it may have been loaded with drugs, and yes, the friend in Toronto mysteriously died before we were able to make the transfer. Again...I'm saving you all the details but would be happy to tell you one day in person...complete with the hair flips and batting eyelashes. This, and other stories about my travels, are great because they open up the airwaves for a 20 minute conversation, minimum. If he asks a lot of questions about my travelling it could be longer. If he doesn't ask any, then I'm throwing him back in the water pronto. I am cautious with these stories though...too many can sound like I'm bragging and that would surely see me diving back into the pond also.
*The really horrible blind date I was set up on (yes, I do think it's okay to talk about previous dates...provided they were brief, and really funny). Now...I don't really like to call people 'losers' - in fact, it was once my new years resolution to stop using the term...but honestly...this guy....well, you be the judge. In our initial telephone conversations he said the following: "My buddy at work said, 'hey Tone!' cuz you know....that's short for Tony..." (ahhh, ya, I got that...), "I haven't worked in 19months and had to beg the doctor for back surgery by telling him 'Doc, I can't even pick my underwear up off the floor!'", and...."your friend probably knows me cuz I'm the guy who drives around town in a golf cart". True story. And after alllll that, I still met him for a drink. A very weak (read desperate) moment. And there's MUCH more about this particular date that I will perhaps share in a future blog, because it's my favourite dating story, by far.
*The story of my birthday one year where I went to an charity event for the arts, and 'donated' $25 to go into a booth manned by a random artist who would demonstrate their craft for you. As described to me, someone would sketch you, sing to you, write a poem for you, etc. Ya, well....the woman in my booth showed me a 5 minute video of her rolling around on the ground naked to some sort of weird ethereal type music, and then asked me what I thought. 5 minutes is a long time, especially when I figured out it was her within the first 15 seconds. All I could think about was 'wow...I had no idea Asian chicks had so much hair down there!'. I was stunned, and speechless, but managed to tell her I thought it was 'quite abstract'. She looked at me with sincere disappointment - yet another non-artsy person I have just let see me naked. (p.s. mentioning a story of a naked woman on a date - even uttering the word 'naked', has to peak his interest, no? especially girl watching video of naked girl?)
You can bet that if I was still on the dating scene, I'd be adding my interview story of "the brain teaser" to the list!!
Regardless of whether or not you want the job, or the man, it makes perfect sense to always be selling yourself. If not, what kind of person does that make you? A giver-upper? pffft....who wants to be that. Selling yourself whenever you get the chance raises the emotional bar and keeps us from settling into, and for, mediocrity. If we keep telling the stories of how great we are, or keep presenting ourselves as witty, wonderful beings, we just might believe it. And if we believe it, who the hell cares what everyone else thinks!
At the end of the day, it all boils down to dignity. You want the decision to be yours. Dumper vs Dumpee, as it were.
cue: Cheap Trick "I want you to want me...."
Lisa
* 'packaged' is the term I use for my layoff. To me, it sounds softer...like they were being nice to me and presented me with a lovely package wrapped in a pretty pink bow.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
say it with feeling
you're gorgeous! you have so much to give! you're intelligent, confident, fun! Don't worry...the right one is out there for you! He'll be kicking himself for letting you go! Men don't care about that superficial stuff! he'd be lucky to have you! you look smashing! maybe you're intimidating? Look at how successful you are! who the hell does he think he is? he must be a complete jerk! there's something wrong with men today! why the hell are you single???
you're so talented! you're so good at what you do! they've made a big mistake! people love working with you! you're so easy to get along with! everyone was shocked that you were let go! This place will not be the same without you! they don't know what they've done! your customers will be pissed! this company must really be going down if they let good people like you go! You'll truly be missed! what the hell were they thinking?
Do people just say this shit to make us feel better????????
you're so talented! you're so good at what you do! they've made a big mistake! people love working with you! you're so easy to get along with! everyone was shocked that you were let go! This place will not be the same without you! they don't know what they've done! your customers will be pissed! this company must really be going down if they let good people like you go! You'll truly be missed! what the hell were they thinking?
Do people just say this shit to make us feel better????????
Sunday, July 26, 2009
the no call back
I've tried to count backwards to figure out how many interviews I've been on. I'm guessing its about 30ish give or take. This includes a handful of meetings with headhunters, and multiple interviews at the same company. I don't know if this is a lot or not very many, considering I've been on the job market for 6 months. In any case, probably the strongest parallel that I can draw between interviews and dates is this: the no call back.
Clearly in the dating scene, if one party doesn't feel the connection, it's just way easier to avoid the confrontation and/or explanation, and generally avoid hurting someone's feelings. It all boils down to the now proverbial 'he's just not that into you'. I get it. In fact, while it may be incredibly rude, I also think it kinda makes sense - and I think in the dating world, it is a given that this may happen. We accept it and move on. And we pretend we didn't want a second date anyway. Doesn't make it right though....
Should the business world be given the same grace? I don't think so. These people are being paid to be professional. They are recruiting and interviewing professionals. Closing the loop IS professional. For God's sake, they can take the easy way out and send a form email - that's enough for me. The reality is quite the opposite. I would guesstimate that I've only heard back from about 50% of my prospective employers (and that's probably being generous but I can't be bothered doing the math). I don't care how busy you pretend to be, it's part of your job as a headhunter, internal recruiter, or HR Rep to close the loop with your candidates. Imagine if my interview answers went something like this:
what's my greatest weakness? following up. I hate it when a prospect leaves me a voicemail and I have to call him back. Why doesn't he just wait, and call me back later? I think that should be the new rule.
describe a time when I've dealt with adversity in the workplace? never. I avoid it like the plague. If I have something negative to tell someone, I just ignore the situation and hope it goes away. I once tried writing "Mike, you need to refrain from swearing at my customers" on the wall in the men's washroom but it kinda backfired because there were 5 Mike's that worked for my company, including the president, and I think the 'fuck you' scrawled beside it was in his handwriting.
Describe a difficult work situation and how I overcame it? I pretended my grandmother died and took time off work. It still wasn't resolved when I came back so I took a sick leave. By the time I got back, the situation was resolved and I was moved to a new job. yahoo!
For all of you interviewers, recruiters and HR people, let me make myself very clear on this one point: The no call back is just not cool. ever. Do the job you are paid to do. Yes, a simple email will suffice.
For all you daters and matchmakers out there, the no call back is not cool for you either, but you sometimes get a pass because it just might make things easier for me too.
Lisa
Clearly in the dating scene, if one party doesn't feel the connection, it's just way easier to avoid the confrontation and/or explanation, and generally avoid hurting someone's feelings. It all boils down to the now proverbial 'he's just not that into you'. I get it. In fact, while it may be incredibly rude, I also think it kinda makes sense - and I think in the dating world, it is a given that this may happen. We accept it and move on. And we pretend we didn't want a second date anyway. Doesn't make it right though....
Should the business world be given the same grace? I don't think so. These people are being paid to be professional. They are recruiting and interviewing professionals. Closing the loop IS professional. For God's sake, they can take the easy way out and send a form email - that's enough for me. The reality is quite the opposite. I would guesstimate that I've only heard back from about 50% of my prospective employers (and that's probably being generous but I can't be bothered doing the math). I don't care how busy you pretend to be, it's part of your job as a headhunter, internal recruiter, or HR Rep to close the loop with your candidates. Imagine if my interview answers went something like this:
what's my greatest weakness? following up. I hate it when a prospect leaves me a voicemail and I have to call him back. Why doesn't he just wait, and call me back later? I think that should be the new rule.
describe a time when I've dealt with adversity in the workplace? never. I avoid it like the plague. If I have something negative to tell someone, I just ignore the situation and hope it goes away. I once tried writing "Mike, you need to refrain from swearing at my customers" on the wall in the men's washroom but it kinda backfired because there were 5 Mike's that worked for my company, including the president, and I think the 'fuck you' scrawled beside it was in his handwriting.
Describe a difficult work situation and how I overcame it? I pretended my grandmother died and took time off work. It still wasn't resolved when I came back so I took a sick leave. By the time I got back, the situation was resolved and I was moved to a new job. yahoo!
For all of you interviewers, recruiters and HR people, let me make myself very clear on this one point: The no call back is just not cool. ever. Do the job you are paid to do. Yes, a simple email will suffice.
For all you daters and matchmakers out there, the no call back is not cool for you either, but you sometimes get a pass because it just might make things easier for me too.
Lisa
Friday, July 24, 2009
time to switch it up? and answer to the riddle....
hey everyone! thanks for all of the positive comments about my blog. Sooo glad you all think my life is so funny! Sadly...I must agree.
Have another 1st interview on Monday. Do I wear the now infamous brown suit, or has it jinxed me? Maybe I should switch it up. I have some lovely separates that I think look professional too.
Do I have to wear a suit?
Let me know what you think...either via a comment here, on facebook, or via email. Thanks!
my correct answer to the brain teaser was the following:
80% of the wait time is before Train A, and 20% before Train B.
Trains are 4x/hour therefore 80% of 15mins is 12, and 20% of 15mins is 3.
Therefore, there are 3 mins between Train A and Train B.
Sounds so easy, doesn't it?
Have another 1st interview on Monday. Do I wear the now infamous brown suit, or has it jinxed me? Maybe I should switch it up. I have some lovely separates that I think look professional too.
Do I have to wear a suit?
Let me know what you think...either via a comment here, on facebook, or via email. Thanks!
my correct answer to the brain teaser was the following:
80% of the wait time is before Train A, and 20% before Train B.
Trains are 4x/hour therefore 80% of 15mins is 12, and 20% of 15mins is 3.
Therefore, there are 3 mins between Train A and Train B.
Sounds so easy, doesn't it?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Brain Teaser
I have made it to the final round of interviews twice since I started this process. Yes, you're right - that means I've only worn the black skirt suit twice. Sad really because it's actually quite nice. In each case I killed all of the interviews to get there and was preparing to negotiate my 4 weeks holidays because I was sure the offer was coming.
I was called to interview with one company based on an application I submitted online. The job sounded better online than when I spoke with HR over the phone and the cons were now outweighing the pros. Poor Brian had to listen to me bitch and gripe once again about this damn interview I was going on for a job I didn't want.
Cons:
1. 12 month contract to cover for a maternity leave. I started in a contract role 15 years ago and am not interested in doing it again. I'm a grown up now and expect to be treated as such.
2. Distance. 47.5 kms each way. Ugh. This would just give Brian more reason to push for a move to Brampton. Not gonna happen.
3. Money. They were offering a slightly lower base salary than I was making in my last job. By slightly lower I mean $2K - no biggie really, but it still bugged me.
Pros:
1. It's a job, and I could use one of those.
2. It's not in IT. It's a challenge to try to change industries while looking for a senior role. The reality is, PC sales is to IT what the Ford Fiesta is to cars. Although you've been driving it for years, it's the entry level model and there are a lot of snazzy features you haven't been exposed to.
Regardless of the pros and cons, it really makes no impact on whether or not I go to the interview. I always go. Good ol' Catholic school girl guilt takes on a new form in my current circumstances.
The first interview was great! I had the Director believing he could spend the summer at the cottage and I would take care of everything while he was gone. I essentially ran the interview, asked all the right questions and, proved my knowledge of the customer by name dropping whenever I could. He was impressed, and I left thinking that it was the first interview I had been on where I actually had a good time.
The second interview was over the phone with the HR Manager in Montreal. She asked me all the usual HR questions, and I had the perfect answer for each one. We, too, hit it off well and at the end of the hour she told me I would be having a third interview the following week - but they were upping the ante.
When I arrived at interview #3 I was led into the boardroom, provided with a case study, and was expected to present my recommendations to a panel of 4 people. I was given a pile of information to read and digest, 2 flip charts, a box of markers, and 45mins to prepare. (Did I mention this was for a 1 year contract position?) It actually made me giggle. Alrighty then...I'll play your game. I have done a lot of presenting in my day and decided everyone going through this process was gonna be nervous....except me.
I nailed it. I knew that they were evaluating me based not only on my presentation skills, but also on my ability to digest information, determine what was relevant and what was not (there were pages of information that I didn't read because I decided they weren't important and there wasn't time - I was later told this was a part of the test), and relate the fictitious product information to the fictitious company goals to make and defend a recommendation. I greeted the team, gave a brief overview of the situation, ran through the highlights and pitfalls of each option, and recommended one of them. I answered their few questions (in fact, I thought there should have been more) and 45 minutes later my presentation was done. I left feeling pretty good about it.
HR called me a few days later and told me that I had made a very good impression on the team, and was being put forward for the fourth and final interview with the Vice President, who was flying in from Montreal to meet me. The meeting would be 30 minutes max, and was really just a 'meet and greet' so that he could make the final decision. I was told there was a very short list of candidates that had made it this far and I figured it was either only me, or me and one other candidate. I was sure that after three interviews, they weren't going to waste his time by presenting multiple candidates. Out came the black skirt suit. I was up for the challenge. This process felt more like achieving the next level on a video game than pursuing a job that had more cons than pros. I was confident that my charm would win him over (how could it not?) and was already considering what to wear on my first day (yes, you have heard this before....perhaps I tend to get a little ahead of myself).
Our meeting went well over an hour and was the toughest interview I have ever been on, and hopefully ever will. There was no idle chatter and every question he asked me was a test. I had to sell him a PC, I had to justify why I thought taking customers to lunch or a hockey game helped with sales, I had to explain in detail how I build relationships with my customers. He even asked what the specs were on my camera, and I could tell he was judging every word I said.
But wait! there's more! Just when I thought it was over, he handed me a pen, and a piece of paper and gave me what he called 'a case study' to solve right there in front of him while he watched. (For God's Sake!!). In fact, it wasn't a case study at all - it was what we regular folk call a 'riddle'. A friggin brain-teaser that went like this:
Now...before I go any further, I'll tell you that I'm usually pretty good at these things, but imagine the added pressure of this guy, who has already intimidated the hell out of me, staring at me from across the table while I try to figure it out. Not to mention I'm sweating like mad in my ill-fitting black suit jacket, my spanx are feeling extra spanxy and my mouth is as dry as the sahara. Yep - 12 month contract in Mississauga for less money than I want. Exactly.
I scribble and scribble and alas....I am the hero! I pull it together and look at him tentatively with my answer and he confirms that I am right. WHEW!!!! Thank God that's over! But it isn't. There's a part (b). FUCK!!!!!!!!
I leave, completely spent, and search desperately for a place to buy a bag of chips. I deserve it. I have absolutely NO idea how the interview went. Yes, I solved the riddle but it wasn't pretty, and how were the other answers I gave? I had to justify everything I said and I don't know if I did it well enough. I go home and sleep for hours. That night I call almost everyone I know to tell them about my horrendous day.
I call the HR Manager the next day to follow up. I tell her that it was NOT at all a 'meet and greet' but a 75 minute gruelling test including a brain twister. She gasps in shock - she knows his fondness for giving riddles to candidates, but did not expect he would do it with me in what she was told would be 30 minutes. She tells me that 65% of candidates either don't get it right or give up, and it is certainly a good sign that I solved it, however ugly it may have been to get there. She's hopeful and rooting for me. I'm still wary.
I follow up with her regularly and after two weeks she finally tells me that since it's a complicated product they sell, and only a 12 month contract, they've decided to just move someone internally into the role. I'm stunned and honestly....I'm pissed. All those kilometres, all those hours, all that stress. I considered asking for compensation for my dry cleaning bill.
The boy liked me, his mother liked me, the extended family liked me. Yes, I could cook and clean but, at the end of the day, it wasn't enough. Don Corleone put the kaibosh on the whole thing.
I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Lisa
(p.s. Let me know if you figure the riddle out. I'll post the answer later.)
I was called to interview with one company based on an application I submitted online. The job sounded better online than when I spoke with HR over the phone and the cons were now outweighing the pros. Poor Brian had to listen to me bitch and gripe once again about this damn interview I was going on for a job I didn't want.
Cons:
1. 12 month contract to cover for a maternity leave. I started in a contract role 15 years ago and am not interested in doing it again. I'm a grown up now and expect to be treated as such.
2. Distance. 47.5 kms each way. Ugh. This would just give Brian more reason to push for a move to Brampton. Not gonna happen.
3. Money. They were offering a slightly lower base salary than I was making in my last job. By slightly lower I mean $2K - no biggie really, but it still bugged me.
Pros:
1. It's a job, and I could use one of those.
2. It's not in IT. It's a challenge to try to change industries while looking for a senior role. The reality is, PC sales is to IT what the Ford Fiesta is to cars. Although you've been driving it for years, it's the entry level model and there are a lot of snazzy features you haven't been exposed to.
Regardless of the pros and cons, it really makes no impact on whether or not I go to the interview. I always go. Good ol' Catholic school girl guilt takes on a new form in my current circumstances.
The first interview was great! I had the Director believing he could spend the summer at the cottage and I would take care of everything while he was gone. I essentially ran the interview, asked all the right questions and, proved my knowledge of the customer by name dropping whenever I could. He was impressed, and I left thinking that it was the first interview I had been on where I actually had a good time.
The second interview was over the phone with the HR Manager in Montreal. She asked me all the usual HR questions, and I had the perfect answer for each one. We, too, hit it off well and at the end of the hour she told me I would be having a third interview the following week - but they were upping the ante.
When I arrived at interview #3 I was led into the boardroom, provided with a case study, and was expected to present my recommendations to a panel of 4 people. I was given a pile of information to read and digest, 2 flip charts, a box of markers, and 45mins to prepare. (Did I mention this was for a 1 year contract position?) It actually made me giggle. Alrighty then...I'll play your game. I have done a lot of presenting in my day and decided everyone going through this process was gonna be nervous....except me.
I nailed it. I knew that they were evaluating me based not only on my presentation skills, but also on my ability to digest information, determine what was relevant and what was not (there were pages of information that I didn't read because I decided they weren't important and there wasn't time - I was later told this was a part of the test), and relate the fictitious product information to the fictitious company goals to make and defend a recommendation. I greeted the team, gave a brief overview of the situation, ran through the highlights and pitfalls of each option, and recommended one of them. I answered their few questions (in fact, I thought there should have been more) and 45 minutes later my presentation was done. I left feeling pretty good about it.
HR called me a few days later and told me that I had made a very good impression on the team, and was being put forward for the fourth and final interview with the Vice President, who was flying in from Montreal to meet me. The meeting would be 30 minutes max, and was really just a 'meet and greet' so that he could make the final decision. I was told there was a very short list of candidates that had made it this far and I figured it was either only me, or me and one other candidate. I was sure that after three interviews, they weren't going to waste his time by presenting multiple candidates. Out came the black skirt suit. I was up for the challenge. This process felt more like achieving the next level on a video game than pursuing a job that had more cons than pros. I was confident that my charm would win him over (how could it not?) and was already considering what to wear on my first day (yes, you have heard this before....perhaps I tend to get a little ahead of myself).
Our meeting went well over an hour and was the toughest interview I have ever been on, and hopefully ever will. There was no idle chatter and every question he asked me was a test. I had to sell him a PC, I had to justify why I thought taking customers to lunch or a hockey game helped with sales, I had to explain in detail how I build relationships with my customers. He even asked what the specs were on my camera, and I could tell he was judging every word I said.
But wait! there's more! Just when I thought it was over, he handed me a pen, and a piece of paper and gave me what he called 'a case study' to solve right there in front of him while he watched. (For God's Sake!!). In fact, it wasn't a case study at all - it was what we regular folk call a 'riddle'. A friggin brain-teaser that went like this:
A guy leaves his house randomly between 7am and 7:59:59am and goes to the train
station. (I can only imagine the look on my face at this point...). He does this randomly, every day, for months and months. There are 2 trains at the station: train A and train B. Each train leaves 4 times an hour, at regular intervals. (again....my face....). 80% of the time, he gets on train A, and 20% of the time he gets on train B.Why is that?
I scribble and scribble and alas....I am the hero! I pull it together and look at him tentatively with my answer and he confirms that I am right. WHEW!!!! Thank God that's over! But it isn't. There's a part (b). FUCK!!!!!!!!
How many minutes are between train A and train B?SHIT! Now there's math. Fucker. Okay...I can do this. I focus, and start to scribble some more. He looks at my paper and tells me that I'm very close. I tell him to give me a minute....in a very professional way. At last, I have an epiphany. I come up with the right answer and I'm thankful for my black jacket that is covering up the ginormous sweat stains under my pits. He confirms that I am correct and with a smirk on his face tells me that I'd be surprised at the number of people that give up. AS IF I'd be surprised! I was one nanosecond away from throwing down my pencil and either walking out, bursting into tears, or reminding him that this was for a 12 month contract position and who the FUCK did he think he was.
I leave, completely spent, and search desperately for a place to buy a bag of chips. I deserve it. I have absolutely NO idea how the interview went. Yes, I solved the riddle but it wasn't pretty, and how were the other answers I gave? I had to justify everything I said and I don't know if I did it well enough. I go home and sleep for hours. That night I call almost everyone I know to tell them about my horrendous day.
I call the HR Manager the next day to follow up. I tell her that it was NOT at all a 'meet and greet' but a 75 minute gruelling test including a brain twister. She gasps in shock - she knows his fondness for giving riddles to candidates, but did not expect he would do it with me in what she was told would be 30 minutes. She tells me that 65% of candidates either don't get it right or give up, and it is certainly a good sign that I solved it, however ugly it may have been to get there. She's hopeful and rooting for me. I'm still wary.
I follow up with her regularly and after two weeks she finally tells me that since it's a complicated product they sell, and only a 12 month contract, they've decided to just move someone internally into the role. I'm stunned and honestly....I'm pissed. All those kilometres, all those hours, all that stress. I considered asking for compensation for my dry cleaning bill.
The boy liked me, his mother liked me, the extended family liked me. Yes, I could cook and clean but, at the end of the day, it wasn't enough. Don Corleone put the kaibosh on the whole thing.
I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Lisa
(p.s. Let me know if you figure the riddle out. I'll post the answer later.)
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Triple Whammy
About 6 weeks ago I was setup on an interview at a company that I had absolutely no desire to work for. While this company has a great reputation for developing its sales team, in my humble opinion, it's pretty low on the totem pole in terms of what I want proudly displayed on my business card. Regardless, I remembered the dwindling balance of my bank account and tried to sound as positive as I could. As with the majority of my interviews, it was all the way out in Mississauga (strike #2), and I hauled out the brown suit yet again.
To my surprise, the meeting went exceptionally well! As it turned out, I had worked for the interviewers father years and years ago, and it was that company on my resume that intrigued her to call me in. We hit it off quite well, chatted about her dad (who remembered me as a nice young girl), reviewed the job(s) that she was looking to fill and at one point she said something along the lines of "I think you'll be a great fit here...I would just like you to complete an online self assessment profile to see which role you are best suited for". Sounded to me like she thought the meeting was going as well as I did and all I had to do was go through the standard HR rigamarole and I was in like Flynn! We continued to chat with a degree of kinship reminiscent of meeting someone at a cocktail party and realizing they too think the host is having an affair. She handed me her business card, we shook hands and I knew...just KNEW, I'd be seeing this wonderful woman again. My reservations about working for this company were gone, either job sounded fabulous, and I left thinking about what I would wear on my first day.
I received and completed the online assessment the next day, crafted a fantastic obligatory thank you email, and waited to hear next steps.
What follows is best described as 'the triple whammy':
1. the business card she gave me listed an incorrect email address. I sent my exceptionally well written thank you note three times and all bounced back. I called the company's main reception and was given the correct email address (does this make me a stalker?). I was finally able to send my letter through, now 2 days after the interview, confused and wondering if this was the business world's version of giving out the wrong phone# to someone you meet in a bar.
2. I never heard back. (WTF?!!!) I was absolutely shocked as I was positive our meeting went really well. Did the online profile I completed make me out to be a mass murderer in a cheesy brown suit? After a coupla weeks I figured what the hell, and sent a second followup email (does THIS make me a stalker?). Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I'm sure I don't need to explain the parallel to dating here, but suffice it to say that even if you think you've just met your soulmate, something like a zit on your chin, or how much sugar you put in your coffee can completely derail your imaginary lifelong happiness together, without you even knowing it.
3. I never 'got closure' from the headhunter either. I called him 3 times before he finally called me back to ask me if I had heard anything. (ummm....am I not supposed to hear through you?). He told me he would call HR and find out what was going on and call me back as soon as possible. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not only had it not worked out with this company, but now my relationship with this recruiter was ruined. Any chance of him finding me another job went out the executive corner office window. Again, I'm sure there's no need to describe the parallel in black and white, but just know that if someone sets you up on a blind date, be aware that if it doesn't go well, your relationship with the middleman may be in serious jeopardy. While you're telling your Aunt Sally that he's a dream and you can't wait to go out with him again, he's telling your Aunt Sally that he just didn't feel it. This puts poor ol' Aunt Sally in a pickle of a situation, and you may just find her avoiding you at the annual family picnic.
I'm not lying - she seriously gave me a business card with the wrong email address on it. Is that fucked up or what?
Lisa
To my surprise, the meeting went exceptionally well! As it turned out, I had worked for the interviewers father years and years ago, and it was that company on my resume that intrigued her to call me in. We hit it off quite well, chatted about her dad (who remembered me as a nice young girl), reviewed the job(s) that she was looking to fill and at one point she said something along the lines of "I think you'll be a great fit here...I would just like you to complete an online self assessment profile to see which role you are best suited for". Sounded to me like she thought the meeting was going as well as I did and all I had to do was go through the standard HR rigamarole and I was in like Flynn! We continued to chat with a degree of kinship reminiscent of meeting someone at a cocktail party and realizing they too think the host is having an affair. She handed me her business card, we shook hands and I knew...just KNEW, I'd be seeing this wonderful woman again. My reservations about working for this company were gone, either job sounded fabulous, and I left thinking about what I would wear on my first day.
I received and completed the online assessment the next day, crafted a fantastic obligatory thank you email, and waited to hear next steps.
What follows is best described as 'the triple whammy':
1. the business card she gave me listed an incorrect email address. I sent my exceptionally well written thank you note three times and all bounced back. I called the company's main reception and was given the correct email address (does this make me a stalker?). I was finally able to send my letter through, now 2 days after the interview, confused and wondering if this was the business world's version of giving out the wrong phone# to someone you meet in a bar.
2. I never heard back. (WTF?!!!) I was absolutely shocked as I was positive our meeting went really well. Did the online profile I completed make me out to be a mass murderer in a cheesy brown suit? After a coupla weeks I figured what the hell, and sent a second followup email (does THIS make me a stalker?). Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I'm sure I don't need to explain the parallel to dating here, but suffice it to say that even if you think you've just met your soulmate, something like a zit on your chin, or how much sugar you put in your coffee can completely derail your imaginary lifelong happiness together, without you even knowing it.
3. I never 'got closure' from the headhunter either. I called him 3 times before he finally called me back to ask me if I had heard anything. (ummm....am I not supposed to hear through you?). He told me he would call HR and find out what was going on and call me back as soon as possible. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not only had it not worked out with this company, but now my relationship with this recruiter was ruined. Any chance of him finding me another job went out the executive corner office window. Again, I'm sure there's no need to describe the parallel in black and white, but just know that if someone sets you up on a blind date, be aware that if it doesn't go well, your relationship with the middleman may be in serious jeopardy. While you're telling your Aunt Sally that he's a dream and you can't wait to go out with him again, he's telling your Aunt Sally that he just didn't feel it. This puts poor ol' Aunt Sally in a pickle of a situation, and you may just find her avoiding you at the annual family picnic.
I'm not lying - she seriously gave me a business card with the wrong email address on it. Is that fucked up or what?
Lisa
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The food court
The first interview I had as a laid off person was way back in October and was setup by a friend. However wonderful it was for her to recommend me, the truth is that I really wasn't ready. I had been kicked to the curb only a few weeks prior, and hadn't yet accepted that my previous employer didn't want me, let alone that another might. I was still reeling with emotion and was just focused on gettin' the hell out of Dodge. I had already decided that I wasn't going to consider looking for work until the new year (cuz really...how long was it gonna take me anyway?!), but I knew that it would just be wrong to pass up the opportunity to at least get one interview under my belt to remind myself what they're like.
We were squeezing the interview in the day before I was leaving for Nicaragua and I was told I was being taken for lunch. (Sweet....is this how interviews go these days? I like it!). I got all spiffed up and drove down to the hub of the city where I hadn't worked in years. I parked in the lot of the 50+ floor office tower next door, and made my way to reception a good 15 minutes early. I schmoozed the gay receptionist and had him rooting for me to get the job within 2 minutes. ("Oh....He is gonna LOVVVE you!"). When my interviewer came out to greet me (10 minutes late) I was told that his boss, the Director, would be joining us. Great, I thought, kill two birds with one stone! Bring it on!
I was taken to a food court. Not just any food court - I'm guessing the busiest food court in downtown Toronto. We spent a good 10 minutes in the Thai food lineup (I was not bold enough to say "I feel like pizza....I'll find you guys later. Save me a seat!"), and I tried to make small talk, but was politely ignored as they constantly scoped for free tables. We were lucky to find a table pretty close to the Thai Express, and I was lucky to have not dropped my tray of food on the way (It's a phobia I have and I usually get mine in a to-go bag even if I'm staying. I'm pretty sure I was bullied in high school in a former life).
Settling into our seats served as the transition from the 'how well can she deal with change' part of the interview, to the question period. Questions were hurled at me through mouths full of cashew chicken and rice. They seemed more interested in their spring rolls than what I was saying. Worst of all, the background noise was deafening and I could barely hear a word. I took one mouthful of rice and realized that was a bad idea - my concentration was diverted and I was forced to say 'pardon?' yet again. I have no idea what they asked, or what I answered, but I know there was no time for me to ask much, and 20 minutes later I was throwing my still full plate of food into the garbage and we were on our way. Parking was $18.
I thought the job sounded incredibly boring. I thought the food court was unprofessional. (pros: Location and money). I went off to Nicaragua and pretended the whole thing never happened - but, even though their interview process was sketchy, I secretly fought with the reality that they didn't offer me the job. I got no reply to my followup emails I sent both the hiring manager and my friend. Turns out, they didn't want me either.
Kinda like being taken to McDonald's on a date, non? Not quite what you were expecting, and you'll probably feel sick afterwards.
I went on a Starbucks blind date once that did not go well at all. He was not terribly attractive, was 45+ years old and wearing a hockey jacket,* and we spent a good portion of the date disagreeing on where to travel with children (I said 'the world', he said Disney). We parted ways and I thought....nope, not a chance. He never called and while I wasn't AT ALL interested, I still wished he was with me. Is that normal????
To quote a dear friend of mine "who wouldn't want all of this?"
Lisa
*this is not a reference to his age, but the fact that AT his age he's wearing a hockey jacket. Apologies if I have offended any of you hockey-jacket-wearing-middle-agers but I'll be the one to break it to you.....your hockey jacket wearing days are long over.
We were squeezing the interview in the day before I was leaving for Nicaragua and I was told I was being taken for lunch. (Sweet....is this how interviews go these days? I like it!). I got all spiffed up and drove down to the hub of the city where I hadn't worked in years. I parked in the lot of the 50+ floor office tower next door, and made my way to reception a good 15 minutes early. I schmoozed the gay receptionist and had him rooting for me to get the job within 2 minutes. ("Oh....He is gonna LOVVVE you!"). When my interviewer came out to greet me (10 minutes late) I was told that his boss, the Director, would be joining us. Great, I thought, kill two birds with one stone! Bring it on!
I was taken to a food court. Not just any food court - I'm guessing the busiest food court in downtown Toronto. We spent a good 10 minutes in the Thai food lineup (I was not bold enough to say "I feel like pizza....I'll find you guys later. Save me a seat!"), and I tried to make small talk, but was politely ignored as they constantly scoped for free tables. We were lucky to find a table pretty close to the Thai Express, and I was lucky to have not dropped my tray of food on the way (It's a phobia I have and I usually get mine in a to-go bag even if I'm staying. I'm pretty sure I was bullied in high school in a former life).
Settling into our seats served as the transition from the 'how well can she deal with change' part of the interview, to the question period. Questions were hurled at me through mouths full of cashew chicken and rice. They seemed more interested in their spring rolls than what I was saying. Worst of all, the background noise was deafening and I could barely hear a word. I took one mouthful of rice and realized that was a bad idea - my concentration was diverted and I was forced to say 'pardon?' yet again. I have no idea what they asked, or what I answered, but I know there was no time for me to ask much, and 20 minutes later I was throwing my still full plate of food into the garbage and we were on our way. Parking was $18.
I thought the job sounded incredibly boring. I thought the food court was unprofessional. (pros: Location and money). I went off to Nicaragua and pretended the whole thing never happened - but, even though their interview process was sketchy, I secretly fought with the reality that they didn't offer me the job. I got no reply to my followup emails I sent both the hiring manager and my friend. Turns out, they didn't want me either.
Kinda like being taken to McDonald's on a date, non? Not quite what you were expecting, and you'll probably feel sick afterwards.
I went on a Starbucks blind date once that did not go well at all. He was not terribly attractive, was 45+ years old and wearing a hockey jacket,* and we spent a good portion of the date disagreeing on where to travel with children (I said 'the world', he said Disney). We parted ways and I thought....nope, not a chance. He never called and while I wasn't AT ALL interested, I still wished he was with me. Is that normal????
To quote a dear friend of mine "who wouldn't want all of this?"
Lisa
*this is not a reference to his age, but the fact that AT his age he's wearing a hockey jacket. Apologies if I have offended any of you hockey-jacket-wearing-middle-agers but I'll be the one to break it to you.....your hockey jacket wearing days are long over.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Just checkin' things out
Went to my brown suit interview today. 96 kms round trip. Lots of traffic because of Indy road closures. Hot. Brown suit was a trooper today. Frankly....so was I.
Before I even sat down, it was explained to me that "the company is really big on promoting from within, and honestly...there's an internal candidate who has been interviewing for this role. There have been 4 meetings with this candidate already and....it's not a done deal yet, but it's really close. I just wanted to meet with you though in case anything else comes up".
At what point am I allowed to say "are you for fucking real????"
Kinda like a date where one person says "honestly, I've been seeing someone for about a month already, but wanted to check you out in case it doesn't work."
You may be appalled that this might happen but...ehem.....I've actually done it. I didn't so much utter the words, but if you've played the online dating game you'll understand. There are so many fish in the cyber sea that one usually has a few 'opportunities' in the net at all times. After Brian and I started to date, I did meet with one other gentleman that I had already started the dance with, but he wasn't a match for my Fred Astaire :) (okay...that was cheesy). And before you chastise ME...he did the same. That's just the way it works sometimes. No need to get your knickers in a knot.
My 'file' has been added to yet another cabinet. hooray! Things on the job front are lookin....pretty much the same way they were lookin yesterday.
Before I even sat down, it was explained to me that "the company is really big on promoting from within, and honestly...there's an internal candidate who has been interviewing for this role. There have been 4 meetings with this candidate already and....it's not a done deal yet, but it's really close. I just wanted to meet with you though in case anything else comes up".
At what point am I allowed to say "are you for fucking real????"
Kinda like a date where one person says "honestly, I've been seeing someone for about a month already, but wanted to check you out in case it doesn't work."
You may be appalled that this might happen but...ehem.....I've actually done it. I didn't so much utter the words, but if you've played the online dating game you'll understand. There are so many fish in the cyber sea that one usually has a few 'opportunities' in the net at all times. After Brian and I started to date, I did meet with one other gentleman that I had already started the dance with, but he wasn't a match for my Fred Astaire :) (okay...that was cheesy). And before you chastise ME...he did the same. That's just the way it works sometimes. No need to get your knickers in a knot.
My 'file' has been added to yet another cabinet. hooray! Things on the job front are lookin....pretty much the same way they were lookin yesterday.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
What Not to Wear
I have an(other) interview lined up for tomorrow. I've blocked a few hours today to review the job description, research the company, remind myself of the stories I've become so used to telling that hopefully sound impressive, review my canned answers to the 'describe a time when you......' questions, read my list of fabulous questions to ask that make me sound intelligent and interested, and generally talk myself into why I want the job in the first place. All of this to prepare me to make a stellar first impression. There's one more factor to consider, but one that I will spend absolutely no time worrying about today. That is......what to wear.
One day in January, after a useless meeting with a career management councillor in downtown Toronto, I waltzed into a department store 'just to have a look' and noticed a 70% off sale on ladies suits. How perfect! If I was to land the perfect job, I was gonna need a suit - and 70% off suited my budget just fine (no pun intended).
For the record, I hate suits. Always have. The jackets are always too tight in the arms, and when buttoned up, the back sits atop the shelf of my ass and makes me look like Big Momma in a Liz Claiborne. I feel like a whale in a suit, but I figured if I was gonna find me a high paying, kickass job I was gonna need to dress the part. I bought 3 of them. Brown pant suit, black pant suit, and black skirt suit. And I wear them in that order.
Brown pant suit = 1st interview. Approachable and Friendly. Stylish yet not too overbearing.
Black pant suit = 2nd interview. Professional and Determined. Can tackle any job with ease.
Black skirt suit = final interview. Power suit. Strong, confident, feminine. Won't take bullshit, and can order people around if required.
What's the parallel to the dating scene, you ask? First of all, I'll admit that the prep is way easier. There's not much to go on besides the non-committal recommendation from a friend (my sister saw him at a wedding and thinks she remembers him being kinda cute...and really drunk), or what little is said in an online profile. When I was dating, my prep involved either messaging someone online, or responding to a message I received and reviewing his bio to decide if an in person meeting was warranted, ie. can he spell, has he refrained from using '69' in his handle - eg. italianstallion69, and do his pictures portray him as at least being somewhat do-able, should, (god willing) it ever come to that. If the answers are yes, we'd go through the online chat motions, and eventually set up a first date. Herein lies the parallel: I had 3 first date tops that suited any venue.
Black V-neck dressy t-shit: Says I'm a casual, low maintenance girl who likes to have fun. The V is not too low, but just enough to make him wonder what I'd be like in the sack. (Starbucks.)
Black see through blouse over black cami: paired with jeans, this says I cared enough to put a little extra effort into what to wear tonight, just in case you're worth it. (Pint at a pub)
Black crossover V-neck: Online chatting and first phonecall impressions of this guy are good. Makes a strong, sexy statement that says "if you don't screw this up, you may be man-handling these babies in less than a week". (Friday night martini's at a hip resto/bar).
Yes, all were black. Black is stylish and goes with anything. More importantly, black is slimming.
Tomorrow is a brown pant suit day. Wish me luck.
One day in January, after a useless meeting with a career management councillor in downtown Toronto, I waltzed into a department store 'just to have a look' and noticed a 70% off sale on ladies suits. How perfect! If I was to land the perfect job, I was gonna need a suit - and 70% off suited my budget just fine (no pun intended).
For the record, I hate suits. Always have. The jackets are always too tight in the arms, and when buttoned up, the back sits atop the shelf of my ass and makes me look like Big Momma in a Liz Claiborne. I feel like a whale in a suit, but I figured if I was gonna find me a high paying, kickass job I was gonna need to dress the part. I bought 3 of them. Brown pant suit, black pant suit, and black skirt suit. And I wear them in that order.
Brown pant suit = 1st interview. Approachable and Friendly. Stylish yet not too overbearing.
Black pant suit = 2nd interview. Professional and Determined. Can tackle any job with ease.
Black skirt suit = final interview. Power suit. Strong, confident, feminine. Won't take bullshit, and can order people around if required.
What's the parallel to the dating scene, you ask? First of all, I'll admit that the prep is way easier. There's not much to go on besides the non-committal recommendation from a friend (my sister saw him at a wedding and thinks she remembers him being kinda cute...and really drunk), or what little is said in an online profile. When I was dating, my prep involved either messaging someone online, or responding to a message I received and reviewing his bio to decide if an in person meeting was warranted, ie. can he spell, has he refrained from using '69' in his handle - eg. italianstallion69, and do his pictures portray him as at least being somewhat do-able, should, (god willing) it ever come to that. If the answers are yes, we'd go through the online chat motions, and eventually set up a first date. Herein lies the parallel: I had 3 first date tops that suited any venue.
Black V-neck dressy t-shit: Says I'm a casual, low maintenance girl who likes to have fun. The V is not too low, but just enough to make him wonder what I'd be like in the sack. (Starbucks.)
Black see through blouse over black cami: paired with jeans, this says I cared enough to put a little extra effort into what to wear tonight, just in case you're worth it. (Pint at a pub)
Black crossover V-neck: Online chatting and first phonecall impressions of this guy are good. Makes a strong, sexy statement that says "if you don't screw this up, you may be man-handling these babies in less than a week". (Friday night martini's at a hip resto/bar).
Yes, all were black. Black is stylish and goes with anything. More importantly, black is slimming.
Tomorrow is a brown pant suit day. Wish me luck.
My working life - in a nutshell
I graduated university in 1988 and had no expectations of where I wanted to work, why, or how...I just knew I needed some money (to pay off my 3month backpacking trip to Europe) and wanted to buy a car. To make a long, boring story short (and perhaps still a little boring) I eventually got a job with a large IT company through my cousin who worked there (more commonly referred to these days as 'someone in my network') and was honestly thrilled. I spent the next 12 years working in various different roles (inside sales, operations, marketing) and eventually made my way into a sales job where many had told me I should have been in the first place.
In Dec of 2004 rumours circulated, and were later confirmed that the division I worked in was sold, and in May 2005 I became one of 450ish employees in Canada at the new company. Many affected by the sale were furious and felt abandoned by the company they figured would sign their pay cheques until retirement. In fact, except for the executives who were given lucrative retention bonuses to stay, there may have been only 2 of us who were actually excited about the new company and the opportunity it would offer - me, and my friend who was to eventually become my boss and fire me. I was bored and disillusioned with the big corporate, bureaucratic world I had worked in for 12 years. I know it sounds silly, but I was tired of getting on the elevator and not knowing a single person on it, even though we all worked for the same company. I was overly excited about the prospect of 'working for a startup' but with a bunch of people I already knew and loved. okay liked. whatever. I devoured the propogandic emails about what a great opportunity this was gonna be, gulped down the koolaid, and was ready to hit the ground running to get this new business off the ground. This company was gonna be so successful that my new stock options (that were converted from my former blue chip ones and now traded on an Asian exchange that I never really understood) were gonna make me millions! To quote P.Diddy's regular twitter updates "Let's go people!"
I was laid off 2.5 years later. Fuckers.
In Dec of 2004 rumours circulated, and were later confirmed that the division I worked in was sold, and in May 2005 I became one of 450ish employees in Canada at the new company. Many affected by the sale were furious and felt abandoned by the company they figured would sign their pay cheques until retirement. In fact, except for the executives who were given lucrative retention bonuses to stay, there may have been only 2 of us who were actually excited about the new company and the opportunity it would offer - me, and my friend who was to eventually become my boss and fire me. I was bored and disillusioned with the big corporate, bureaucratic world I had worked in for 12 years. I know it sounds silly, but I was tired of getting on the elevator and not knowing a single person on it, even though we all worked for the same company. I was overly excited about the prospect of 'working for a startup' but with a bunch of people I already knew and loved. okay liked. whatever. I devoured the propogandic emails about what a great opportunity this was gonna be, gulped down the koolaid, and was ready to hit the ground running to get this new business off the ground. This company was gonna be so successful that my new stock options (that were converted from my former blue chip ones and now traded on an Asian exchange that I never really understood) were gonna make me millions! To quote P.Diddy's regular twitter updates "Let's go people!"
I was laid off 2.5 years later. Fuckers.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Dating: How I got into the game
I tiptoed into the dating scene in 2004 when I dropped a stupid number of not-so-subtle hints to friends and family that I wouldn't be opposed to being setup on a blind date if they knew someone who was worthy. I was 38 and honestly.....hankerin' for some lovin'. That was truly my motivation. I did go on a number of blind dates over the next few years to no avail, but did end up with a handful of great stories to tell at a dinner party. Then, in early 2006, I made my official debut as a dater. a girlfriend and I were out for sushi, lamenting about the girl in her office who had met a seemingly fabulous guy online - sending her flowers, calling regularly, attending to her every need - and she was thinking about dumping him and moving on to another. (BITCH! How DARE she!!! Who does she think she is?? She has a great guy and she doesn't want him?! I WANT HIM!!!!)
We dared each other to setup a profile - neither of us was willing to commit to taking the full leap - or at least utter the words "go online", but lets see what wonderful things we could write about ourselves. How hard could that be???? and of course....no one else needs to know. PINKY SWEAR!
I went home that night to write a stellar review of the person that I am, found 4 decent and relatively recent pictures, and bit the bullet and posted my profile online for all to see. I figured I had gone to all of that effort, why waste it? And damn, I sounded like a catch! I posted it on three different dating sites. Go big or go home, as they say. I was up till 3am posting, revising, and reviewing. I had officially become a loser...I mean online dater.
To clarify, I don't really think its a loser move, and is without question a very common, and accessible way to meet a man from the comforts of your couch. Single galpals and I often joked "why can't the perfect man come waltzing through my living room...during the commercials". But it's a BIG step and at the time - faced with the prospect of eventually having to come clean with friends and family - I felt sorta like a loser. I was finally admitting that there's no knight in shining armour in the frozen food aisle, and that I had given up on all conventional tactics to find a man. Even more exposing for the quintessential single woman that I was, loomed the BIG admission that yes, I really DO want a partner. Maybe this life would be better if there was someone willing to listen to my stories at the end of the day, while I sit across from him at a great little out-of-the-way restaurant that he found and just HAD to take me too. Just maybe.
Strangely enough, I thought it may have a domino effect with other single friends jumping on the cyber dating bandwagon - I would be the first to put myself out there (incidentally my friend who concocted this crazy idea with me didn't go online until many months later...) and others would see that it wasn't such a loser thing to do and join me. We'd all have great dating stories to tell and would all end up happily in love and hosting dinner parties for each other for years to come. It was soooooo not like that. Friends were happy to ask 1000 questions, wanting to know all the juicy details, then end the conversation with "ya....I could never do it". They looked at me with 1. respect: it's a big, risky, leap and you've got the balls to jump, and 2. pity: this is what it's come to, but I'm not ready to admit that yet - until I see how it goes for you.
But I did it....and I dated. And I eventually met the man of my dreams. But that is sooooo not what this blog is about.
We dared each other to setup a profile - neither of us was willing to commit to taking the full leap - or at least utter the words "go online", but lets see what wonderful things we could write about ourselves. How hard could that be???? and of course....no one else needs to know. PINKY SWEAR!
I went home that night to write a stellar review of the person that I am, found 4 decent and relatively recent pictures, and bit the bullet and posted my profile online for all to see. I figured I had gone to all of that effort, why waste it? And damn, I sounded like a catch! I posted it on three different dating sites. Go big or go home, as they say. I was up till 3am posting, revising, and reviewing. I had officially become a loser...I mean online dater.
To clarify, I don't really think its a loser move, and is without question a very common, and accessible way to meet a man from the comforts of your couch. Single galpals and I often joked "why can't the perfect man come waltzing through my living room...during the commercials". But it's a BIG step and at the time - faced with the prospect of eventually having to come clean with friends and family - I felt sorta like a loser. I was finally admitting that there's no knight in shining armour in the frozen food aisle, and that I had given up on all conventional tactics to find a man. Even more exposing for the quintessential single woman that I was, loomed the BIG admission that yes, I really DO want a partner. Maybe this life would be better if there was someone willing to listen to my stories at the end of the day, while I sit across from him at a great little out-of-the-way restaurant that he found and just HAD to take me too. Just maybe.
Strangely enough, I thought it may have a domino effect with other single friends jumping on the cyber dating bandwagon - I would be the first to put myself out there (incidentally my friend who concocted this crazy idea with me didn't go online until many months later...) and others would see that it wasn't such a loser thing to do and join me. We'd all have great dating stories to tell and would all end up happily in love and hosting dinner parties for each other for years to come. It was soooooo not like that. Friends were happy to ask 1000 questions, wanting to know all the juicy details, then end the conversation with "ya....I could never do it". They looked at me with 1. respect: it's a big, risky, leap and you've got the balls to jump, and 2. pity: this is what it's come to, but I'm not ready to admit that yet - until I see how it goes for you.
But I did it....and I dated. And I eventually met the man of my dreams. But that is sooooo not what this blog is about.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Interviews are like dates
Hi! (Is anyone gonna read this? exactly how good does it have to be?)
I've decided to blog. This, apparently, is a good place to start - it's free, seems easy enough, and is way less commitment that deciding to write a book. I'm blogging with specific intention too. Besides the fact that I'm bored and have oodles of time on my hands, I have recently discovered an incredibly funny parallel between interviewing and dating - a parallel that I think needs to be shared. I have unfortunately (fortunately?) been a hunter for both a job and a man, and have learned the intimate realities of what it takes to put yourself out there, I understand the vast difference between what you want, and what wants you, and I have mastered the art of tweaking my stories on the fly. I have discovered that both dating and job hunting are more similar that you'd think - and I have stories to prove it.
Let me first tell you a bit about me and why I found myself the hunter in the first place.
I could cut and paste from either my resume, or my online profile, but neither is cynical enough for this post. I'm a 42 year old female, born and raised in the suburbs of Toronto, now living in the heart of the city. I wouldn't say that 40something is too old to be looking for either a job, or a love...but I'm no spring chicken either. I'm set in my ways, in both my personal life and my business life - unlike the way I was 20 years ago - trainable and moldable. I have lived an essentially single existence until a mere 3 years ago (except for one incredible poor 2 year decision that I would prefer to pretend never happened). I never consciously made an effort to find me a man until the year I turned 40 and was dared to create an online dating profile. Before then, I was all about me, living with an 'if it happens it happens' attitude and enjoying the occasional fling and/or one night stand to keep the blood flowing. In the latter part of my 30's friends did try in vain to set me up - perhaps feeling sorry for me, figuring my stellar travel record, great job, fantastic friends (both male and female), and spontaneous and FUN lifestyle could never be enough without a partner to share it with. I disagreed and was very happy in my world - but was also interested in meeting a man that I could have regular sex with. Having said all of that, my point is that I've had my fair share of dates in my day - blind dates, online dates, friend of a friend dates, sure-I'll-give-it-a-shot dates. Some were okay, and some were literally horrific. The okay dates have long been forgotten, and the horrific ones added to my repertoire of stories to share at a cocktail party.
I've also recently found myself out of work . Correction: I didn't so much 'find myself out of work' as much as I was kicked to the curb with a laptop, a fat severance package and lots of encouragement by friends, family and former colleagues with statements like "pfft...it won't take you long at all to find something else!", "This is the best thing that could have happened to you!", and "the world is your oyster now!". Ya....well, I did mouth the words, but it certainly didn't feel like a good thing. I was laid off from a company where I had spent 15 years developing a strong reputation for being a great employee - had worked up the ranks to a senior role, was well respected, was getting great results, and had received a number of awards. Then...one day I was told that my job was changing and my skills weren't a match. Devestation like I've never known it...but that's another story and a whole different blog. I took a few months off to travel, chill out, and try to figure out what I wanted to do, and 6 months ago I officially entered the job market, full of confidence and excitement, full steam ahead! To date, I've applied for a gazillion jobs, have aligned myself with 8 different recruiters, have 21 online job boards bookmarked that I review almost daily, and have pretty much exhausted my personal network. It seems that what I want to do has absolutely nothing to do with me finding a job. I'm considering 'settling' just to get a paycheque. The confidence and excitement are long gone. I have been on a lot of interviews with a variety of different types of people - and no two interviews or interviewees are the same. I don't know exactly how many but my brown suit is wearing out between the legs, and my 'new' white blouse now has yellow armpit marks. A lot of interviews. Some were okay, and some were downright appalling. The okay ones have long been forgotten, and the appalling ones added to my repertoire of stories to share at a cocktail party.
And so.... this brings me to the topic of my blog: Looking For Mr. Right, Inc., the parallels between interviewing and dating. You'll be pleasantly surprised how many parallels I can draw - from the "he/this job seems too good to be true" to "I honestly can't be bothered, do I really need to shower first?". All accounts will be true tales of dates and/or job interviews that either I have personally experienced, or someone close to me has. I can't say I won't embellish for humour's sake, cuz really, that's what this is all about.
Stay tuned!
dedicated to finding the humour in it all,
Lisa
I've decided to blog. This, apparently, is a good place to start - it's free, seems easy enough, and is way less commitment that deciding to write a book. I'm blogging with specific intention too. Besides the fact that I'm bored and have oodles of time on my hands, I have recently discovered an incredibly funny parallel between interviewing and dating - a parallel that I think needs to be shared. I have unfortunately (fortunately?) been a hunter for both a job and a man, and have learned the intimate realities of what it takes to put yourself out there, I understand the vast difference between what you want, and what wants you, and I have mastered the art of tweaking my stories on the fly. I have discovered that both dating and job hunting are more similar that you'd think - and I have stories to prove it.
Let me first tell you a bit about me and why I found myself the hunter in the first place.
I could cut and paste from either my resume, or my online profile, but neither is cynical enough for this post. I'm a 42 year old female, born and raised in the suburbs of Toronto, now living in the heart of the city. I wouldn't say that 40something is too old to be looking for either a job, or a love...but I'm no spring chicken either. I'm set in my ways, in both my personal life and my business life - unlike the way I was 20 years ago - trainable and moldable. I have lived an essentially single existence until a mere 3 years ago (except for one incredible poor 2 year decision that I would prefer to pretend never happened). I never consciously made an effort to find me a man until the year I turned 40 and was dared to create an online dating profile. Before then, I was all about me, living with an 'if it happens it happens' attitude and enjoying the occasional fling and/or one night stand to keep the blood flowing. In the latter part of my 30's friends did try in vain to set me up - perhaps feeling sorry for me, figuring my stellar travel record, great job, fantastic friends (both male and female), and spontaneous and FUN lifestyle could never be enough without a partner to share it with. I disagreed and was very happy in my world - but was also interested in meeting a man that I could have regular sex with. Having said all of that, my point is that I've had my fair share of dates in my day - blind dates, online dates, friend of a friend dates, sure-I'll-give-it-a-shot dates. Some were okay, and some were literally horrific. The okay dates have long been forgotten, and the horrific ones added to my repertoire of stories to share at a cocktail party.
I've also recently found myself out of work . Correction: I didn't so much 'find myself out of work' as much as I was kicked to the curb with a laptop, a fat severance package and lots of encouragement by friends, family and former colleagues with statements like "pfft...it won't take you long at all to find something else!", "This is the best thing that could have happened to you!", and "the world is your oyster now!". Ya....well, I did mouth the words, but it certainly didn't feel like a good thing. I was laid off from a company where I had spent 15 years developing a strong reputation for being a great employee - had worked up the ranks to a senior role, was well respected, was getting great results, and had received a number of awards. Then...one day I was told that my job was changing and my skills weren't a match. Devestation like I've never known it...but that's another story and a whole different blog. I took a few months off to travel, chill out, and try to figure out what I wanted to do, and 6 months ago I officially entered the job market, full of confidence and excitement, full steam ahead! To date, I've applied for a gazillion jobs, have aligned myself with 8 different recruiters, have 21 online job boards bookmarked that I review almost daily, and have pretty much exhausted my personal network. It seems that what I want to do has absolutely nothing to do with me finding a job. I'm considering 'settling' just to get a paycheque. The confidence and excitement are long gone. I have been on a lot of interviews with a variety of different types of people - and no two interviews or interviewees are the same. I don't know exactly how many but my brown suit is wearing out between the legs, and my 'new' white blouse now has yellow armpit marks. A lot of interviews. Some were okay, and some were downright appalling. The okay ones have long been forgotten, and the appalling ones added to my repertoire of stories to share at a cocktail party.
And so.... this brings me to the topic of my blog: Looking For Mr. Right, Inc., the parallels between interviewing and dating. You'll be pleasantly surprised how many parallels I can draw - from the "he/this job seems too good to be true" to "I honestly can't be bothered, do I really need to shower first?". All accounts will be true tales of dates and/or job interviews that either I have personally experienced, or someone close to me has. I can't say I won't embellish for humour's sake, cuz really, that's what this is all about.
Stay tuned!
dedicated to finding the humour in it all,
Lisa
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