I have been known to be somewhat of a story-teller. Shocking, I know. I have a LOT of bizarre stories in my repertoire that identify me as the girl you call over at the party with "LISA..get over here and tell these guys about when you went to that crazy place/met those crazy people/ did that crazy thing...."I also know that the same wacky types of things happen to everyone, but apparently I have a knack of turning these little tidbits of my life into colourful accounts of how I was slighted, challenged, embarrassed, duped, confused or humiliated, and any combination thereof. I tell my stories every chance I get and most often get a chuckle. My friends, (who've had to endure the tales umpteen times) usually have favourites. Some are G rated, but there are a few choice narratives that I can only tell close friends after a few bottles of wine. Suffice it to say I have some doozies. I even once jotted them down in a notebook so as not to forget them...but now I forget where I put the notebook.
Ability to laugh at myself? check.
Need to be the centre of attention? check.
Gift for seeing humour in even the most mundane circumstances? check, check, check!
This is how I came up with this crazy idea that interviews are like dates in the first place. The revelation came to me one day driving home from an interview for a job that I didn't want, at a company that I didn't want to work for. I had told the same stories in this interview, as I had in another for a job that I really DID want. As I reviewed the meeting, and the tales that I had told, it hit me:
Interviews are like dates. You tell the same stories over and over again until someone buys them.
Even though I didn't want the job, I still gave it my all, and told my best work related stories, to sell myself as the best candidate for it. I still wanted (and deserved!) a call back. The same holds true for dating. You want to portray yourself as a damn fine catch, full of confidence and spunk, even if you've already decided to throw him back in the water. You want full control and the ability to make the decision on YOUR terms. I wonder if there is a sociological term for this?
I have a standard list of work related stories that I draw from when appropriate. In interviews, my stories can best be itemized like this:
*The time I pulled out all the stops to have the entire order ship by Dec 31st. (It's much more involved than that, but I'll spare you the boring details. Unless of course you invite me to an interview, in which case, I'll give you the full blow by blow, complete with hand gestures and head nods). This story is reserved for "describe a time when you went above and beyond to solve an issue".
*The story about the IT implementation at my company that derailed shipments to my customers for months. Again...this is abbreviated but it's a good one when answering the "When things don't go your way", "dealing with challenges" or "dealing with angry customers" types of questions.
*The story about my customer who has users with very unique requirements and the solution I came up with for them. This is something I was working on before I was packaged* and never got to close, but I use it anyway and sometimes leave out that minor detail. This is perfect for the "describe an instance where you used your consultative selling skills to close a deal" type of questions.
I think they're good stories. First of all, they're true (well....mostly except the slight omission noted above). Secondly, they are multi-faceted and can be tweaked to get me out of a jam in most heated question periods. You may be thinking "ya, Lisa....but you still don't have a friggin job!" and yes, you may have a point...but I don't think its because my stories don't fit the bill.
My dating stories didn't necessarily make me out to be super-girlfriend, but they were animated and funny and served to ease the tension and keep conversation going. And, it's all in the way that they're told. I could present myself as funny, confident, down to earth, adventurous, and spontaneous all in one little quirky anecdote. I'll share some favourites:
*The time my friend and I were coaxed into bringing a wooden thai dragon from Portugal to Toronto to give to someone's long lost friend. Yes, we were crazy to do it, yes it may have been loaded with drugs, and yes, the friend in Toronto mysteriously died before we were able to make the transfer. Again...I'm saving you all the details but would be happy to tell you one day in person...complete with the hair flips and batting eyelashes. This, and other stories about my travels, are great because they open up the airwaves for a 20 minute conversation, minimum. If he asks a lot of questions about my travelling it could be longer. If he doesn't ask any, then I'm throwing him back in the water pronto. I am cautious with these stories though...too many can sound like I'm bragging and that would surely see me diving back into the pond also.
*The really horrible blind date I was set up on (yes, I do think it's okay to talk about previous dates...provided they were brief, and really funny). Now...I don't really like to call people 'losers' - in fact, it was once my new years resolution to stop using the term...but honestly...this guy....well, you be the judge. In our initial telephone conversations he said the following: "My buddy at work said, 'hey Tone!' cuz you know....that's short for Tony..." (ahhh, ya, I got that...), "I haven't worked in 19months and had to beg the doctor for back surgery by telling him 'Doc, I can't even pick my underwear up off the floor!'", and...."your friend probably knows me cuz I'm the guy who drives around town in a golf cart". True story. And after alllll that, I still met him for a drink. A very weak (read desperate) moment. And there's MUCH more about this particular date that I will perhaps share in a future blog, because it's my favourite dating story, by far.
*The story of my birthday one year where I went to an charity event for the arts, and 'donated' $25 to go into a booth manned by a random artist who would demonstrate their craft for you. As described to me, someone would sketch you, sing to you, write a poem for you, etc. Ya, well....the woman in my booth showed me a 5 minute video of her rolling around on the ground naked to some sort of weird ethereal type music, and then asked me what I thought. 5 minutes is a long time, especially when I figured out it was her within the first 15 seconds. All I could think about was 'wow...I had no idea Asian chicks had so much hair down there!'. I was stunned, and speechless, but managed to tell her I thought it was 'quite abstract'. She looked at me with sincere disappointment - yet another non-artsy person I have just let see me naked. (p.s. mentioning a story of a naked woman on a date - even uttering the word 'naked', has to peak his interest, no? especially girl watching video of naked girl?)
You can bet that if I was still on the dating scene, I'd be adding my interview story of "the brain teaser" to the list!!
Regardless of whether or not you want the job, or the man, it makes perfect sense to always be selling yourself. If not, what kind of person does that make you? A giver-upper? pffft....who wants to be that. Selling yourself whenever you get the chance raises the emotional bar and keeps us from settling into, and for, mediocrity. If we keep telling the stories of how great we are, or keep presenting ourselves as witty, wonderful beings, we just might believe it. And if we believe it, who the hell cares what everyone else thinks!
At the end of the day, it all boils down to dignity. You want the decision to be yours. Dumper vs Dumpee, as it were.
cue: Cheap Trick "I want you to want me...."
Lisa
* 'packaged' is the term I use for my layoff. To me, it sounds softer...like they were being nice to me and presented me with a lovely package wrapped in a pretty pink bow.
